Volume 4, Issue 3, page 11

Out of the Mirrors Comes the
7[t e jot,t
NTRODeUCING tology" humanth socigetreatane y fordthneews first
tim, Iamo, cientific discovery, based upon research,
conclusions, and teacnings of His &niueuce, H. Ran Amuck, as reiterated by
him thru the happy little mediums, Cryptic
Critique and Develina, self-appointed
Priestesses of the Pooh-Pooh.

Before yau venture upon the hallowed
ground on which this amazing new science
was constructed, be advised that Iamology
was, is, and forever will remain the exclusive discovery, after considerable malice
aforethought, of the distinguished author
and scholar, H. Ran Amuck, PU, IOU, ETC.,
(Copyright. All rights reserved.)
The story goes: Ran, a great man of
wealth and little with which to occupy himself otherwise (ED. NOTE -- See, we told you
this story was fiction), spent his time
gazing at reflections of himself in the
full-length mirrors which lined the walls
of his 32-room home. He patiently sat Bu ddhawise before the mirrors, day after day,
gazing in rapt ecstasy at himself. At long
last, he was overcome with a true admiration of self. This caIne about, you understand, only after he actually saw himself
as he really wanted himself to be.

For many years he sat before his mirrors, always querying: "mirrors, mirrors on
the wall, ain't I the fairest of 'em all?"
Rather than injure his sensitive feelings,
the mirrors always refrained fran answering
him. But on this one momentous day, the
mirror in which he was gazing could no
longer contain itself, and broke into millions of pieces. It was at that very shattering moment that the truth, as Ran wanted
to know it, came to him. "Ireka!" he cried.
"At long last I have found the answer to
all the universe. There IS No One greater
than I." At that moment, too, he became
known as The Master -- Master of the Sleight
of Mind.

Running forth from his home, he corralled great audiences and paid them to hear
him out. "My children," he said, "Iamology
is a great illuminating science, based upon
the scientology of a perfect defunctionalism, which is, in reality, the esoteric expression of knowing one's finite limitations, which are, after all, limitless. It
is the unique realization of the first person singular, arriving in a conscious state
to the ken that he actually is the great
`I' in his life. He is no longer concerned
witn how he may arrive, nor where he is
going. He is concerned only with the miracle that He does exist. There are no yesterdays. There are no tomorrows. Nothing
can be accomplished in either one of these
two theoretical states."
Bathed in the plaudits of his newlyfound followers, H. really ran amuck. He
sallied forth thruout the world, and for a
price, began to preach his gospel. Like the
rest of his generation he wasn't giving
m.' to ' as,
Tnis isa story ,;:.out nocody wno ever lived -- -as
far knoYn. Nor does it imply u,r.t any swat per