Volume 11, Issue 1, page 14

"I did get some news on the
co-audit plan. But before that
went into effect another bulletin was issued exempting all
the old-timers, who are completely exempt from all these
rules as to class thru the
level of clear. A free Founding Scientologist Certificate
is available upon application
on a form provided to St.Hill.
This entitles the bearer to
give or receive auditing on
most any process except the
new goals stuff. I suggest you
mention this in The ABERREE.
Ron says that this is a way of
saying 'thanks' to all the
'Founding Scientologists' who
have contributed in these early
years. The certificate will not
be available after 1964 and he
has invited all the early Dianeticists in particular to
apply. So your postulate is
satisfied -- you can get auditing without training still. I
think the new rules are more
for the 'fragile' public than
for the old-timers who are of
much sturdier blood, I find. It
is important that old-timers
get their certificates now as
pc' s must have certificates
now. Without the Founding Scn.
wallpaper, a guy would have to
go thru all the levels along
with the new crop of foundlings. Oh, well, these rules
come and go; none of them affect
me very much so far. I already
sent in my objections but no
reply yet. The new certificate
covers most of my objections.
So, I'll just see what happens
now and go on with my work and
let someone else worry about
all this paperwork." -- David
Moran, Univ. of Wisconsin,
Madison, Wis.
(ED. NOTE -- Why bother to
ask for a certificate giving
permission to use certificates
one already has earned and paid
for? Hubbard seems to think
these certificates he issues
aren't printed paper; they're
slates on which he can write
or erase at will. He operates
in a weird universe of playing
Lord -- 'The Lord giveth and the
Lord taketh aOwaoyo )
"This issue (March) is real
good, especially the 'This is
What Happened' about the cavern people. It seems you have
found a female version of Richard Shaver and his 'Tero' (the
good Cavernites). You know,
maybe those miners who were
trapped underground and saw
some man or spirit who told
them they would be rescued and
then disappeared (they saw a
staircase, too) -- could it be
it was one of those underground dwellers? I have taken
all this business with huge
hunks of salt, but tales persist, and they seem to be unrelated -- or issue from different sources, but they all
tell the same story. The 'holes'
at the poles, the green sunlit
valleys way up beyond the snows
and ice. The strange research
our government and Russia is
making at the poles -- all this,
plus the one about the saucers
issuing from said poles, make
you wonder if it might be true!
"Come, come! Alphia! Beards
are not nice unless you don' t
have a razor...Germs! Also, a
place to hide secret weapons,
or messages, to or from the
enemy. Also you might get athlete's foot in"em, or warts.
Most men surely wouldn't like
to wear the itchy things -- besides, aren't they extremely
warm, like bear fur or buffalo
hair? The real reason men
started shaving, I read, is
that bearded men going into
the thick of battle would be
grabbed by the beard, held
firmly, and their heads neatly
severed by the sword. Made a
handy handle. So -- they shaved.
Probably first, with the jawbone of a boy-donkey. However,
if you want to wear a nice
clean beard, shampooed with
Dreen, and groomed with Byrlcreem, it would be fine. But
maybe, even so, they would need
to put their beards in a plastic bag while kissing their
wives, or-when demothing...
"But that is on earth. There
is a very special psychic
reason why one should avoid a
beard on the spirit planes. It
seems they grow inward, if not
dissolved (this is done mentally, and that means the beard
is completely gone, roots and
all, if done properly). By
growing into the head, they
affect the mind of the spirit --
coarsening, dulling mental
processes, like a lot of seaweed. So I have heard, but
this may be a sort of joke to
cover the real reason. Anyway,
you don't need a razor, so why
worry -- no trouble much to get
rid of the whiskers. This might
not apply to your cute little
mustachio, tho. My dad wears
one. But maybe it would be
safer to keep it under control .
(ED. NOTE -- Since women can't
grow beards, all these excuses
to separate man from his monopoly have been invented and
enforced in the various subtle
ways women have of dominating.
Why should hair on the chin be
less acceptable in the spirit
world than hair on the head --
or do you also favor baldness
for all?)
'I feel you may be right
about the Negro being used as
a pawn for politicos, but I do
hope he gains his freedom. I
know the Indian didn 't, but
hope all people will soon be
equal. What a stupid world to
judge a man by the color of
his skin or whether he drives
a Cadillac. It is my belief
that the Indians were far more
civilized at one time than we
are now -- that they are remnants
of the Atlanteans.
"Congratulations on your
quitting cigarets. My next door
neighbor says that when her
husband quit, he chewed celery
-- that there is a sedative effect in celery, and it helped
his nerves and kept him from
craving the weed. It might
help to have a plate of raw
carrots, celery, radishes, raw
turnips, and even sunflower
seeds to munch on. I laughed
until I died, and was reincarnated right away, as you can
see. I showed it to everyone,
and they did likewise. (Sorry
we messed up the Cal ifornia
census -- even temporarily.)
"Of course you shouldn't
chew candy. It 's bad for anyone. Use honey in your coffee
(maybe it would be awful, I
dunno; never tried. I don't
like sugar in coffee, and only
a little in tea.) you see, I
just read that wonderful book,
'Folk Medicine!" If you and
Alice have not read it, please
do...Vinegar and honey seem to
cure everything from drunkenness to hives. you even rub
vinegar on varicose veins -- and
they go away in a month, sometimes. Use it night and morning -- straight from the bottle.
you drink 2 teaspoons of honey, gal
2 teas. vinegar, mixed in water
( to 2/3rds of a glass, or
however it tastes best). Seems a
honey is a wonder sweet, pre- a
digested by the bees, and con- W
tains minerals and things, and CU
vinegar helps you keep your 0cr
sodium (salt) versus potassium
normal. Dr. Jarvis, author, m
thinks our bodies should be .4
kept more on the acid side.
Eating apples, fruits, and E"
leaves (salads included), a n d
vinegar will do this. It even
helped people reduce, without
dieting except to avoid the 14