Volume 10, Issue 3, page 6

Tragedy of an Unwanted Zygote
CONCEPTION is a drama, the impact of
which usually remains uncomprehended.

This moment of fusion seems to determine, almost completely, the behavior patterns of the organism created by this union of sperm and ovum.

To clarify the material which
follows, it is necessary to understand the meaning of the Dianetic
term 'valence'. It is the compulsive
impersonation or identification with another's personality. At the time of conception, we find aspects of both Mother's
and Father's personality patterns superimposed upon the instinctual physical body
patterns carried by the sperm and ovum.

It is possible in a Dianetic processing
session, with the use of peyote* as an additional tool, to recall with vivid awareness
the emotions and attitudes in operation at
this decisive moment of union, and also those
of the subsequent nine-month prenatal period.

It seems reasonable to assume that in the
event of a complete acceptance of conception
by both parents, the entity thus conceived
would become a comparatively unaberrated, wellfunctioning individual. This acceptance, unfortunately, is seldom the case, as has been
established during many hours of clinical
findings; and it is the conflict created by
these two opposing, inharmonious attitudes,
and some of the resulting consequences, that
will be presented for consideration here.

The quoted material following is from the
voluminous data of the Psychological Research
Foundation of Phoenix, Ariz. It is taken verbatim from tape recordings of a Dianetic session, using peyote as a tool to facilitate the
recall of deeply-buried experiences. The conclusions of equivalents arrived at do not necessarily apply to any other case.

PRECLEAR -- My first impression is of warm
semen, and a visio of Father's face. (The emotion felt is released by a grief charge.) "Let
me in! Let me in!" Father is saying this just
before conception. "I'm coning I'st coming!"
There is a frantic feeling; it seems Mother is
resisting, and Father is 'making desperate
efforts. "I've got to stake it this time. It's
the end if I don't stake it."
AUDITOR -- Whose feeling is this? And what
does 'it' refer to?
PC -- Both Father and 'I' are feeling this;
and 'it' refers to conception. There is a
strong impression that 'I' won't reincarnate
in this lifetime if 'I' don't make 'it' this
tine. (There is much bodily effort here, and
the fist of one hand hits the palm of the other
hand many, many times.) I finally made it. (The

* "PEYOTE -- The sacred cactus of the Indians in
Mexico. containing a complex of alkaloids, the chief
one of which is mescaline. Peyote, a much-maligned
'drug', is not narcotic -- quite contrary. It is not
habit-forming, and produces no harmful side-effects.
unlike some synthetic products of the chemist-medico combine: Thalidomide, for example."
body relaxes with a feeling of great relief.)
Aud -- Who is saying this?
PC -- Father is saying "I love you". (There
is a great overwhelming emotion followed by
sobbing and crying for several minutes.) This
seems like the beginning of the tremendous attachment between most fathers and daughters.

Aud -- Who does he refer to? And why the
feeling of grief?
PC -- "I love you" refers to the new life,
which is me. But now the feeling of love is
gone, and I feel alone and anxious.

Aud -- Now you feel alone? You mentioned that
Mother was resisting at the time of conception.

PC -- Yes, now I am alone, and I don't like
the feeling.

Aud -- The thought occurs to me: the somatic
reaction you have at this time is called a
'cold'; does this mean a cold Teception at
PC -- Yes, the feeling of being wanted is
gone, and now I feel alone and frightened.Aud -- See if you can separate the feelings of
the newly-formed zygote and those Mother might
be having.

PC -- I, the zygote, an feeling alone and

Aud -- How does Mother feel?
PC -- She is thinking, "I'm going to get rid
of it."
Aud -- Does Mother know she has conceived?
PC -- On some level, she must, because I sure
have a rejected feeling.

Aud -- Might this phrase, "Get rid of it",
mostly refer to the semen? What does she do?
PC -- She takes a douche.

Aud -- What is her feeling when she takes it?
PC -- She is revolted by the whole idea of sex.
Aud -- How does she visualize semen, feel
about it?
PC -- It is equivalent to mucous, or snot;
sex is a snotty business.

Aud -- Snot meaning semen?
PC -- Yes. I see a relationship here between
a cold, which I have in restimulation, and sex;
the nose is equivalent to the vagina, and blowing the nose is equal to emitting or rejecting
the semen.

Aud -- What was that pounding of the fist into
the hand?
PC -- It meant the impact of conception; first
you conceive, then try to get rid of the semen.
Aud -- You mean Mother did this, and you now
replay this as a cold in the nose?
PC -- Yes, that's right.

Aud -- What other equals are there between a
cold and conception?
PC -- Mother takes a Lysol douche,uh.ich makes
the membrane of the vaei'na irritated, as the
membrane of the nose is irritated during a

Aud -- This first douche was Lysol?
PC -- Yes, but not as strong as the one she
took 10 days after conception. (Preclear had
run this in a previous session.i)
Aud -- Would this be what we call basic-basic,
the first engram on this chain? How many minutes after conception was this first douche