The Aberree

Published Monthly--10 or 12 Times
a Year, at 207 North Washington,
Enid, Oklahoma, U.S.A.

B.Scn, F.Scn.

WFE, H.Kpr, SEC., ETC.

POLICY--Don't take it so damn' seriously.

NOTE--We reserve the right to change our minds from issue to issue--or even from Page 1 to Page 2, if conditions warrant.

Subscription price: At least per year. No trade-ins or
refunds, even if you don't like it--or if we quit sending
it. Advertising rates: $1 an inch if you twist our arm;
double if you don't.

A U D I T 0 R I A L S

TO THOSE 100,000 -- (MORE OR LESS)

We've scanned our entire emotional column without finding where to spot our reaction to your reaction to the first copy of The ABERREE.

Apparently, no one believed us when we said we didn't care to continue this beyond the first issue, and checks began pouring in by mail, airmail, and in personal calls. We even got one that must have come by lizard -- it took it eight days to reach our desk in Phoenix from the far-distant city of Los Angeles.

But we won't be bribed. Even if we get another 99,867 subscribers, you send us your money at your own risk.


Anyone who has spent a summer in Phoenix shouldn't ask "Why'd you move to Oklahoma?"; but we had a thousand good reasons--if we needed them. The main one, however, was because we wanted to, and anyone wanting the full list may have same for $1,500 cash, or one slightly used copy of "Ex-Calibur".

Anyway, we like Enid. We miss the mountains, but there's a grain elevator here higher than Camelback. We'll miss the desert, but at the rate the Texas Panhandle is blowing through our windows, that'll be here shortly.

We liked Phoenix, too, but as happens in other towns where The Maestro operates a school, there the auditors and would-be auditors flock and stalemate.. We were at the point where we found ourselves talking too much and doing too little work on our own cases.

Besides, why should the Phoenix psychotics get all the breaks? If our goal is to "Make the able more able", we had to get out where the able were.


The military budget busters are playing with big firecrackers out in the Pacific again--and this time, their contumacious efforts at secrecy were nullified when the radioactive cloud from the H-bomb blast got out of their control. A fishing boat, far outside the area staked out by the grandsons of the pioneers who chased the Indians out of their homeland, was showered with ashes and 23 persons made deathly ill. Other fishing boats also report contamination, and the tuna market did a nosedive in Japan. It was said that someone said that they have it on high authority that Uncle Sam will pay all damages--and the "Keep Out" signs have been moved out to encompass 800 miles.

Radioactivity, outside the danger zone (they say), was too small to affect animal or plant life, but it was sufficient to put a radiation counter at Yale University in Connecticut out of operation for a week.

There was a report that four other blasts--two of which were to be even bigger and better--might be cancelled as a result of the

(To keep going, turn to Page 6.)