Volume 3, Issue 5, page 5

A ilecAo,poliA f fleu.t `tic 12ualagtaU
OciG?tac, PecuiG1e
ACK BEFORE Americans had turned the
tropical paradise of Bikini into a
poisonous waste and a cloth-saving
bathing suit, a man named Noah Webster
compiled a dictionary. Since this pioneering
feat of 1828, neologists have succeeded in
building the original book into a super-production of more than 3,000 large pages of very
small print.

But there are those who are not satisfied.
Attorneys and courts disentomb a dead language
to convert their legal phraseology into something Caesar would have flushed down the sewer
had he had one. Doctors go them one better,
and concoct an alphabetical cacology that is
guaranteed to kill the patient, even if their
pills and scalpels fail to make the grade.

So-called "authorities" on the mind -- philosophers, psychologists, psychiatrists, and
plain and fancy dabblers -- either haven't time
to find the words they need in Webster's Incomparable, or they feel that their "discoveries" are too important to be collocated with
mundane semantics. Me "student" who pays $500
to $800 for a "course" in some of the more
modern ologies will find that a large percentage of that time is spent learning nomenclature, thus necessitating myriad "retread"
courses to learn what he thought he was going
to learn in the first place -- plus the new
words that'have been added since he received
his last current certificate.

Since The ABERREE seeks to present a crosssection of all these ologies and isms in the
hope that readers may find something which
they can use without indigestion of arbitraries, some of our readers confess understandable annoyance over terms to be found only in
an unpublished "Dictionary of Synergese" and
an oft-revised "Appositions of Scientology".
W h e n the "Superego o n Page 2 becomes t h e
"subconscious on Page 3, the "Soul" on Page
4, and the "Thetan" on Page 5 -- with each writer uncertain of the difference but sure there
is one -- the reader is tempted to give up in
disgust, and start telling a string of beads
or cutting out r dolls.

But, for ABERREE readers, that's all over
now. Herewith, we offer ourselves a language
of our own. And as one of our great southern
teachers is so wont to say, "we guarantee
it'll work"