Masthead | Auditorials


Vol. I - No. 8

December, 1954

The Non-serious Organ of "The Infinites", a Universe of Being'as Unlimited as the Name Implies.

Published in the Dark of the Moon -- 6 to 12 Moons a Year -- at 207 No. Washington, Enid, Okla., U.S.A.

Editor: The Rev. Mr. Dr. ALPHIA 0MEGA HART, D.Scn., D.D., F.Scn., B.Scn(2), HCA, HDA.


POLICY -- If you must take it at all, don't take it so damn' seriously.

SUBSCRIPTION PRICE: Same as last month -- $2 a year.


This year, the Atlantic Seaboard has been pounded by an unusual number of unorthodox hurricanes, taking a heavy toll of life and property. England has had one of the coldest summers in history. The Mississippi valley has felt tornado after tornado; and even Los Angeles has been so smog-ridden it's more than a mere radio joke. For once, no "authority" has had the temerity to blame all these weather malfeasances on sun spots.

Recently, Drew Pearson, a columnist with little or no fear of Capital "brass", said evidence was growing that last spring's H-bomb tests, that dug holes where islands used to be, were responsible for these atmospheric upsets. He cited volcanic eruptions of the past that brought about similar manifestations.

If the H-bomb can do this, what of the super H-bomb?

When we bury our storm dead, or survey the homes that have been leveled by the "wrath of the elements", do we call this "an act of God?", or place the blame where it belongs -- on ourselves? We pay the taxes that finance this mania of destruction. In the name of "security" (whatever that means), we impoverish our national treasury for the sake of a few big "booms" under full military showmanship.

An atomic war wouldn't have to wipe out all living things in order to make of this a barren planet. A few H-bombs, creating a new and more wide-spread ice age, could be just as effective.


If you read the fine print at the bottom of the contract, it may startle you, in your belated research, to discover to what extent you are legally bound.

In religion, as well as Scientology, adherents are enlisted because of fear -- fear that something terrible will happen to them if they don't. They can go to hell, as one of the eternally damned, or be stuck in a series of bodies, as in the case of the Black V's. But in the fine print (we have it from many "authorities") MAN IS IMMORTAL. In religion, this one-way "immortality" starts AFTER "The Resurrection", whatever that may be; in scientology, it is openly admitted that the thetan is, has been, and always will be.

Immortality, in our definition, means timelessness. If, to the thetan, there is no such thing as time, then there can be no past, no present and no future. Everything that ever has happened to you hasn't happened; in the same vein, everything that you fear will happen or desire to have happen, already HAS happened. If there is no time, then one need not dread what can be only a product of time: namely, incidents. These are on a body level only, and have nothing to do with the immortality of man, the thetan.

Quoting from L. Ron Hubbard's Theta-MEST theory: "MEST is a problem, and theta is a solver of problems", then man's use of MEST -- a body and its environment -- can be only a part of the problem. At all times, the difficulties one gets into are no more than the product of the thetan's decision to add interest to his existence. He knows the solution, but if one knew in advance what the score was to be and every exciting play of a gridiron battle, how many college stadiums would be packed with howling mobs during the football season? His alleged "ignorance" (occlusion) about what is "happening" or is "going to happen", then, is in proportion to how well he is playing the game he mocked up for himself.

Why, then, all this drive to find out "what it's all about"? Is this a new game we're playing? or just part of the old game? And what would "happen" if we did find out? Wouldn't we merely mock up a new game and start the cycle all over again under the very same handicaps?

If the thetan is truly immortal, nothing's going to happen to him -- in fact, nothing CAN happen to him -- no matter whether he studies anthroponomy, scientology, or merely finds a way to contemplate a decaying navel for a couple hundred years.

Or, maybe, every once awhile he has to be assured that he IS immortal -- has to take a peek behind his own book of rules.